Three Percent Chance: Another Week Down, Still fighting.

Sometimes in your life, it feels like you are under a vicious attack, and I believe that's what we are currently experiencing. My mom would call it a spiritual attack. We are putting up a big fight, and will continue to do so.

But, good things first... Sarah got her new vest treatment machine, and the first time she cried halfway thru it and snuggled with daddy (as seen below) but after the first treatment with it, she doesn't fight us at all now. She lets us do what we need to and takes her treatments without any fighting. Yay! I am so glad its not a fight to get her to do it. I think somehow she knows it is making her or going to make her better. That is our prayer anyways. Work is crazy, as usual, but I am so thankful we both have jobs and are able to stay busy and work full time and pay for the treatments like this. That is always a blessing, even when I am stressed beyond belief.

Earlier this week, I ordered some medical records from some testing I had done in December, that I had been told was normal. I ordered the paperwork to submit to insurance for a partial reimbursement as per our contract with them. When I got the medical records, I was surprised by what I read. Apparently, there was something abnormal on my CT scan that no one ever told me about. There was a possible colloid cyst in my brain and it was noted that a follow up was recommended. I am generally not an overly worrisome person when it comes to things with myself, but this quite honestly scared me. No one likes to hear there is possibly something going on with their brain. A very long story short, my doctor sent me for an MRI yesterday to see if it is in fact a cyst, and what size it is, etc. The CT report showed the possible cyst was tiny, so we are praying there is nothing there on the report, and that it was just an overly cautious radiologist. But, that doesn't keep me from worrying in the mean time. I pride myself in being positive in scary situations and not worrying, and I have all the faith that its going to be okay in the long run, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared. Thus, why I've been awake since 3am and can't sleep.

Not being able to sleep does have one sweet benefit, it allows me to watch my wonderful so supportive husband, and my beautiful babies sleep. While I would love to be peacefully sleeping right now, watching them sleep has to be the next best thing. :)

I know no one reads this blog much, but that's okay... That means its more of a journal for me and allows me to get my thoughts out there rather than bottle them up. I am so thankful for the supportive family I have. Ryan has done nothing but try to reduce my stress the last few days and be my rock as he has been ever since we met on May 4, 2006 and reminding me not to make too much of anything. My parents as always are there by my side praying and supporting and being my cheerleaders that everything is okay no matter what. My brother called at just the right time yesterday after my MRI to just chat and let me know he loved me and was making sure I was okay. They will never know how much it means to me to have their love and support when I am scared and worried over something.

The other benefit to not being able to sleep? Once I finally get off this darn blog in a minute, I will be able to have a few quiet hours to get paperwork done, and by the time daylight rolls around, I intend to get off this computer, quit work for the weekend, and spend time with my beautiful babies. Yesterday, while I was working from the kitchen I was brought nearly to tears hearing Emmy making up her own song in the living room... "I looooove mommy! I love myyyyyy mommy!" She went on for probably 10 minutes until I came to smother her in hugs and kisses. :)

Well... enough venting for now. Time to get some work done so my Friday is more of a "free" day!