Great news!

One benefit I had to not sleeping well last week, was being able to watch these beautiful babies peacefully sleep [in the middle of our cal king bed] lol...

I got wonderful news last week. Thank you for the prayers. My MRI came back showing no sign of the cyst, and I think they are still having a hard time explaining it. I don't mind a miracle or unexplainable disappearance of the cyst. I'm just thrilled it's not there! I fully believe God healed whatever it was, and that it is no more, and I give him all the credit for it.

We had a fun time swimming Saturday then I ended up sick with a cold over the weekend so my last few days have been funky, but my baby sisters birthday (20!) is coming up this weekend so I am sure we'll do something fun if we're all well then!

My work day is about to begin so I need to go, but I just had to share the good news of my results. :) have a great week!

       Nicholas watching the ipad. I love    

          his hands behind his head. :)

 Emmy Lou with her buddy Chanel :)

Tiffani with Sarah and Emmy in the car yesterday. They are holding hands because they are "buddies" according to the girls. So sweet!

Another Week Down, Still fighting.

Sometimes in your life, it feels like you are under a vicious attack, and I believe that's what we are currently experiencing. My mom would call it a spiritual attack. We are putting up a big fight, and will continue to do so.

 But, good things first... Sarah got her new vest treatment machine, and the first time she cried halfway thru it and snuggled with daddy (as seen below) but after the first treatment with it, she doesn't fight us at all now. She lets us do what we need to and takes her treatments without any fighting. Yay! I am so glad its not a fight to get her to do it. I think somehow she knows it is making her or going to make her better. That is our prayer anyways.  Work is crazy, as usual, but I am so thankful we both have jobs and are able to stay busy and work full time and pay for the treatments like this. That is always a blessing, even when I am stressed beyond belief. 

Earlier this week, I ordered some medical records from some testing I had done in December, that I had been told was normal. I ordered the paperwork to submit to insurance for a partial reimbursement as per our contract with them. When I got the medical records, I was surprised by what I read. Apparently, there was something abnormal on my CT scan that no one ever told me about. There was a possible colloid cyst in my brain and it was noted that a follow up was recommended. I am generally not an overly worrisome person when it comes to things with myself, but this quite honestly scared me. No one likes to hear there is possibly something going on with their brain. A very long story short, my doctor sent me for an MRI yesterday to see if it is in fact a cyst, and what size it is, etc. The CT report showed the possible cyst was tiny, so we are praying there is nothing there on the report, and that it was just an overly cautious radiologist. But, that doesn't keep me from worrying in the mean time. I pride myself in being positive in scary situations and not worrying, and I have all the faith that its going to be okay in the long run, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared. Thus, why I've been awake since 3am and can't sleep.

Not being able to sleep does have one sweet benefit, it allows me to watch my wonderful so supportive husband, and my beautiful babies sleep. While I would love to be peacefully sleeping right now, watching them sleep has to be the next best thing. :)

I know no one reads this blog much, but that's okay... That means its more of a journal for me and allows me to get my thoughts out there rather than bottle them up. I am so thankful for the supportive family I have. Ryan has done nothing but try to reduce my stress the last few days and be my rock as he has been ever since we met on May 4, 2006 and reminding me not to make too much of anything. My parents as always are there by my side praying and supporting and being my cheerleaders that everything is okay no matter what. My brother called at just the right time yesterday after my MRI to just chat and let me know he loved me and was making sure I was okay. They will never know how much it means to me to have their love and support when I am scared and worried over something.

The other benefit to not being able to sleep? Once I finally get off this darn blog in a minute, I will be able to have a few quiet hours to get paperwork done, and by the time daylight rolls around, I intend to get off this computer, quit work for the weekend, and spend time with my beautiful babies. Yesterday, while I was working from the kitchen I was brought nearly to tears hearing Emmy making up her own song in the living room... "I looooove mommy! I love myyyyyy mommy!" She went on for probably 10 minutes until I came to smother her in hugs and kisses. :)

Well... enough venting for now. Time to get some work done so my Friday is more of a "free" day! 

Nicholas on the Ranger, headed with Daddy to swim at Nana's

Sarah taking her first vest treatment while snuggled with daddy

Emmy being my beautiful silly Emmy that she is

We are blessed!

We are blessed. Sarah's results came back quickly so we did not have to wait long to find out what her CT scan showed. The test process was so hard as parents to watch your little one scared and not sure what's going on. But, she and we made it thru it, and while her results weren't perfect, they were so much better than they could've been. Her results showed she has a lot of "atelectasis" left from pneumonia so much, and that is making her prone to more infections. She will have to use a medical vest a couple of times a day for the next several months, and periodically for several years possibly, to help reduce the atelectasis, but prayerfully this will reduce all her infection problems, and praise God there were no cysts or masses! We decided to leave after work on Friday and celebrate good news by taking the kids to Hot Springs for the weekend.

We have had a great weekend and the kids amaze me every day. We watched a great movie in the room last night, 'Mom's Night Out'. I suggest any mom watch it. It spoke to me so strongly right now. Our kids are almost 3 and most days between taking care of them and working, I am run ragged and feel like I have failed miserably. We are also in the middle of frequent tantrums, the kids wanting freedom but not knowing how to handle it when they have and sometimes, all out war. Have you ever tried reasoning with 3 2.5 year olds? It can be exhausting! But you know what? At the end of the day, I am the only one beating me up. The kids are happy, healthy, and know they are loved beyond measure. I have a wonderful husband who helps me and supports me the whole way. Sometimes we just need a reminder that we are the only ones being hard on ourselves; and to give ourselves a break.

I can't even begin to tell you how much more I've been able to allow myself to enjoy life since getting off facebook. I thought I would miss it, but I see so many more little moments I didn't realize I was missing before then. I miss chatting with some of my friends and seeing their daily lives, but as far as the waste of time that is so much of Facebook drama, I am SO much happier! Our summer of adventures is being wonderful and this has been the best summer with our kids yet. Whether it's enjoying gardens in hot springs, playing in the playground at home, geocaching, making s'mores buckets, or eating daddy's homemade icecream on the porch, we are trying to savor every moment that we can with our kids. 

Emmy posing for me. She used to never pose, I'm so happy she finally will! Now of we could get Sarah to cooperate for pictures :)

My ever handsome baby boy :)

Caught Sarah eating a sucker in the hotel room. They love dum dums lately.

Sarah Helping daddy and I with groceries after her CT earlier this week.

S'mores Bucket, with awesome illustrations thanks to my baby sister.

Eating homemade icecream on the porch that daddy made!

Nicholas is obsessed with mustaches lately since Ryan and dad have them so, I found him a play one. He didn't like it once he put it on, but I managed a quick cute picture before he took it off :)

Prayers for Sarah Faith

I am swamped beyond swamped with work, yet while I am trying to muddle through it, I can't get my mind off our precious Sarah Faith and needing your prayers please. Lately it feels like our life is in a constant merry go round of someone being sick and needing prayers, and I am so ready for everyone to be well, and no sickness, no tragedies, just fun with our beautiful kids.

We got a call yesterday from Sarah's pulmonary specialist that her check up x-ray from last week looked abnormal even though she wasn't sick, and that they wanted to order a CT Scan for her to rule out several things. Primarily they are looking for 3 things, basically constant pneumonia that keeps her lungs always funny looking and would require a compression type vest to "pop" the inflamation, a congenital abnormality that causes multiple cysts in her lungs that would require a major surgery, and another congenital abnormality that would cause a cyst to grow that may or may not need removal. We are asking for anyone who reads this to pray that her CT comes back showing the x-ray's were just overly concerning, and that whatever is going on is easily fixed and doesn't require major surgery or recovery. We want our Sarah well and don't want to put her through surgeries, etc. unless necessary. The doctors office got on it quick, and her CT scan will be at 7:30 in the morning, and she will be sedated for it since she is so little. 

As a mom and dad, we are naturally worried. We trust God, but there is still that worry that creeps in there over her being sedated, over the results, over her recovery. Please pray with us for wonderful results, and that she isn't scared tomorrow morning. And if you could, please pray for a calm Mommy and Daddy. We love our precious kiddos so much, and want everyone well and happy!

Happy 4th!

It's been another crazy couple of weeks, but I am so thankful we had a good July 4th and for God's blessings. The beginning of the week of July 4th, Ryan's dad had a heart attack. We hadn't seen him in a long time due to some circumstances I won't go into, but it is always scary to hear a family member has had something like that happen, and was tough to see Ryan so worried about his dad. After much prayer, he was able to go home sooner than expected and is recovering well and so far only minimal damage.

Usually we do something at the farm on July 4th but this year Tiffani was playing guitar and singing worship at a church get together, at a church a few miles from the house. We had such a great time and the kids loved it. They hung out in the stroller and watched, listened to the music, and ate hot dogs and watermelon until they were just about sick. Ryan, Tiffani and Dad got in on several rounds of horseshoes, and mom and I bid on some neat items at the silent auction that sent their youth kids to summer church camp. I loved the community atmosphere there. It was different than any church event I've been to in a long time. I don't know what their Sunday services are like, but we really enjoyed it. The next day the kids had a blast playing outside at mom and dad's and playing on their new slip 'n slide. Sunday we went to a birthday party for my cousin's son, and we came back home and swam until the kids were worn out, and went in and watched a movie at mom and dad's in the movie room. I have always stressed how important family time is, but lately it rings so so true to me with all of the things we have had happen.

This week has been incredibly challenging, because the kids have needed so much of my attention and I have had to work and been very busy, even more so than usual, so I am so thankful for the weekends when we can have uninterrupted fun and quality time with them. Our 3 munchkins and my husband are truly the joy of my life. Even at my roughest moments I remind myself to be thankful and try not to complain when one of them is being bad or demanding, because there were so many days and nights my heart was broken and not sure we would ever know the joy of children.

I've got to make this short for tonight... my work day actually isn't over yet, the kids finally fell asleep and I have some more paperwork to do before going to bed, but I just had to share some of the last weeks happenings, and pictures from the fun.

 Emily "cheesing" for me

Sarah loved her red white and blue sunglasses :)

Nicholas loving his watermelon and upside down glasses 

 Tiffani playing for the July 4th Bash

Ryan taking his turn at horseshoes